I learned at an early age how to internalize guilt and avoided letting people accept me for who I am.

What does a kid do when they don’t feel worthy enough? They do anything to be accepted, even if that means lying to themselves and those around them. I was a meek kid who didn’t have much to say but always wanted people to like and accept me.

Before I knew it, I had told a series of lies to almost everyone I knew

My first lie was innocent enough but a total doozy. When I was in grade one, I idolized my teacher and remember being so excited to be participating in our annual Christmas performance at school.

That’s why I proudly raised my hand when she asked the class if anyone had a Santa costume laying around that we could use as a prop. Like who has a Santa costume just laying around, really!? Despite never having any connection to a Santa costume, I told my teacher that I had one and volunteered to lend it to the class.

That innocent little lie produced a bigger lie that produced a gigantic lie and triggered my first coverup mission at the tender age of six. Before I knew it, I had told a series of lies to almost everyone I knew and learned at an early age how to internalize guilt and avoided letting people accept me for who I am. Not the best combination if you ask me or that little kid.

Authored by: K/L 2022

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